I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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