It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize