I could have mohawked her pubes.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
