My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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