He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
