Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
This show inspires me to have sex in space
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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