I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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