Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
