used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
