I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
