So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
