Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
