He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
