I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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