America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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