i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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