Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
