She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
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Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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