at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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