We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
