Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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