5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
