As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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