official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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