Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
