dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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