Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
