Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
