do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
