But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just tell him i said nine months
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
