Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
