Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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