so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
