Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
