so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
