He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
50% drunk capacity currently
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
