I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
