I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
