Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
