So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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