She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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