You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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