hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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