I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
