Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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