im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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