yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
