Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
