She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
