He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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