Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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