Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
