Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
