$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
