dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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