I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
