I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
