u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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