Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
