it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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